"The hardest thing in life is learning which bridge to cross and which bridge to burn."

..new or just another?

Is this the New Year or just another night?
Is this the new fear or just another fright?
Is this the new tear or just another desperation?
Is this the finger or just another fist?
Is this the kingdom or just a hit n' miss?
A misdirection, most in all this desperation

Is this what they call freedom?
Is this what you call pain?
Is this what they call discontented fame?

It'll be a day like this one
When the world caves in

I'm singing this one like a broken piece of glass
From broken arms an' broken noses in the back
Is this the New Year or just another desperation?
You're pushing till you're shoving
You bend until you break
Till you stand on the broken fields where our fathers lay
It'll be a day like this one

When the world caves in

There's nothing here worth saving,
Is no one here at all?
Is there any net left that could break our fall?
It'll be a day like this one
When the sky falls down and the hungry and poor and deserted are
found

Are you discontented? Have you been pushing hard?
Have you been through and down this broken house of cards?
It'll be a day like this one
When the world caves in

Is there nothing left now?
Nothing left to sing
Are there any left to haven't kiss the enemy?
Is this the New Year or just another desperation?
Just as I could find you, do the wicked never lose?
Is there any honest song to sing besides these blues?
And nothing is okay

Till the world caves in
Until the world caves in

--"The Blues" by Switchfoot

What do you think?

Selah,

Nanette

In the meantime...

Have you ever noticed how it seems like we live from event to event? As I look at my calendar, I see key dates--dates on which I have imporant appointments. But as soon as that committment has been filled, I mark it off and begin to anticipate the next.

Is that all this is?

My question is this: what happens in the meantime? If I'm missing today for daydreams, then what happens today? What is happening NOW?

I'm on a road with bends and twists, and I'm honestly not very sure where it's heading. I do know that I'm not using my map anymore. I refuse to take charge. I've done that before, and I know how it ends.

So, I'm on the road. The roadtrip of life is long, but short at the same time. What will I do in the meantime? I'm in the car, on the road, trying to follow the map, but what will I do in that car? Gretchen used to tell us how she'd entertain the girls by moving beads to signify how close they were to their destination, creating new mini-goals to look forward to. "Look, it's almost time to move another bead. Only 4 more to go!!"

What are you doing on your roadtrip? Here's my new resolution:

I will live to love You.

Simple, but tough. I want everything I do in the meantime to bring me closer to that resolution. I want to reflect--not shine. I'm letting go of the wheel, throwing my hands in the air, and finally there are words.

"I will live to love You."

Selah,
Nanette

Bend in the road

"When I left [school] my future seemed to stretch out before me like a straight road. I thought I could see along it for many a milestone. Now there is a bend in it. I don't know what lies around the bend, but I'm going to believe that the best does. It has a fascination of its own, that bend...I wonder how the road beyond it goes."

--Anne of Green Gables

Sometimes I feel like we graph our lives out. We get out a map (even if it's the wrong one) and chart our path. But what happens when there is a bend in the road?

We lose control.

...and that's the point. If we think we can plan by using the wrong map, we are sadly mistaken. How can you complete a math equation without a formula? You can't. Just like you can't expect to plan the future without a complete map.

Upon further review of the map I've been using to plot my path, I've come to realize that I'm missing many main roads. Roads that are available, but never were options before.

And the roads that were on my map are different than they once appeared. Straight roads are curvy and vise versa.

You can't control the road.

Roads will twist and turn, and it's all about how you react to it. Will you attempt to create a new path where you thought the old was going? Will you freeze up and swerve in the wrong direction? Or will you throw your hands up and allow Him to take the wheel?

"I don't know what lies around the bend, but I'm going to believe that the best does. It has a fascination of its own, that bend...I wonder how the road beyond it goes."

Selah,

Nanette

hush...

When you feel like the days just drone on and on and on

and you feel like the nights are quickly gone

and on the inside your heart is gaping wide

and on the inside you feel like no one's on your side

well, I am

When you thought you could rest, but you found out you were wrong

And there's another need another battle another one more thing that comes along

and on the inside you hear the fall but you hate the falling sound

and on the inside you can't pick another broken piece up off the ground

well I know

Hush little baby don't say a word

Daddy's gone and bought you a great big heaven to rest in

He's bought it with blood and put the seal in your heart

it'll give you the hope you need to get up and start again

when all the things you thought you left behind are still hanging on

and everything you try to do right ends up all wrong

and on the inside everyone else seems basically fine

but on the inside even they won't let go of the dead and cling to what's alive

well I AM

"Hush" by Waterdeep

A very good friend of mine sent me this song in an email today. I can't tell you how many times I've read it in away messages and blogs, but it never hit me. I guess it just goes to show you how many times you can pass by a huge message without listening. I'm pretty stubborn, and that makes it hard for me to be weak--or at least show that I am weak.

I am weak...and that's how I should be. Because it's not until I'm weak, that He can be strong...

Selah,

Nanette

everything seems so familiar...








yeah. i've been here before.