Need to want...

I know that He's all that I need...I just need Him to be all that I want.

Selah,
Nanette

"..and I've got nothing of my own to give to you...

But this light that shines on me, shines on you. And makes everything, beautiful...again."

"Stars" by David Crowder Band

*sigh* So this is it. I have a million things I should be doing right now, including finishing up some coursework and of course the inevitable--packing--but instead, here I sit, writing. What is this world coming to? ;)

But honestly, it is kind of strange to think that I'll be moving back to the states on Tuesday. I mean, don't get me wrong, I miss it and the people I love every single day...but I guess I am going to miss it here, too. I've gotten used to the quirks of the UK and Europe in general. I've learned to embrace the differences. Somehow I've learned to love it here...Ok, so that was incriminating. No, I didn't LOVE it at first. I kind of just wanted to get right back on the plane and go home. Mostly because I was here alone (or so I thought at the time). I left caring friends and a loving family to come, but all I could see was what I was leaving... It feels so ungrateful to say it now. I'm glad He reminded me of what a gift it was to be here. Of how everything just "seemed" to work out at the last minute, even down to the money to come. I'm such a fool sometimes.

I'll never be alone.

But here I am, packing up my things. I'll miss being a 30 min ride from Paris. I'll miss walking past Starbucks, Cinnabon and the mall on my way to class. I'll miss the green-ness. Granted it rains a lot, but it makes everything SO green. I've never seen green like this before...

I'll miss my ocean view window. I'll miss my secret quiet spot in an apartment building of over 400. I'll miss the friends I've made and the memories that are still to be had. I'll miss pretending to be "European".

Everyone was right. They said I'd miss it when it was gone. *sigh* I'm just glad I got so much out of this experience. I'm just thankful that He used it to bring out something beautiful in my painting. Maybe I can reflect some new colors now. I'm still not sure how exactly I have changed, but I know that I'm not the same person...but that's a good thing!

Ok, back to packing...at least for now. :)

Selah,
Nanette

Falling out...

I'm falling out of grace with the world
They say I've lost my Midas touch
what turned to gold now turns to rust
I'm falling out of line with all the stars
That flood my dreams with their guitars and magazines

Face down this carpet tastes like coffee grounds ground into my face now
And every angle's covered with just another...
I'm falling out of style with the current way things are
The things that make conforming hard
I'm falling out of control and you just can't stop me now
I'll fight as long as time allows

Face down this carpet tastes like coffee grounds ground into my face now
And every angle's covered with just another...BAND-AID
I'm out here way beyond
A shadow of a doubt
And I know I'm never falling out
...Of favor with you
I won't think twice or even three times
About taking a gamble with you
Cause with my life you have been so kind
I take all my comfort from you

Face down this carpet tastes like coffee grounds ground into my face now
And every angle's covered with just another...BAND-AID

"Falling Out" by Relient K

Man, I wish I could write relevant lyrics--words that speak to people in ways that I can't comprehend. I just want to be the mouth. I want to hold the pen...but the words will never be mine. I know that.

Anything of elequence that has ever graced me with its pleasure has not come from within me. I guarantee you that.

Sometimes I feel like I am falling out of grace with the world. That maybe seasons are changing in my life, and it's time for the next one. Spring turns to Summer, but Summer inevitabley turns to Fall...

...but I won't ever fall out of faith with you.

Selah,
Nanette