Packing up...

Do you ever think that life is circular? Let me explain. Have you ever felt that odd feeling of deja vu?

Circular motion?

Lately it seems that I'm perpetually in motion. I moved home from UIS. I moved to England and back (a couple of times). I unofficially moved up to Naperville at the beginning of the summer. And now it's time to pack up...again.

Moving.

It seems like I should be a pro at this by now. Routine. In a couple weeks, I'll be doing it all again. But still, I am experiencing the same emotions. I'm excited about what's ahead; I'm saddened by what I'm leaving behind.

Forward motion.

Cause I struggle with forward motion

I struggle with forward motion

We all struggle with forward motion

Cause forward motion is harder than it sounds

Well everytime I gain some ground

I gotta turn myself around again

It’s harder than it sounds

Well everytime I gain some ground

I gotta turn myself around again

--"Forward Motion" by Relient K

That always seems to be the case. God moves me to new places, brings me to new experiences, and puts me in new situations, but just when I start to adjust--when I get comfortable--it's time to move again. I've learned that my comfort zone is larger than perhaps it should be. So why is it that each time after I learn these huge lessons, I struggle to maintain when I come "home"?

It's because I get comfortable again.

So here I go again. Moving. Uncomfortable and uncertain.

Why can't I just maintain? ...I struggle with forward motion... *sigh* I'm a wip.

Selah,
Nanette

Did you rise the sun for me?

Sometimes it seems like I miss so many of God's "fingerprints" because I'm so caught up in doing my own thing. As much as I try to focus on God and His work around me, sometimes I feel like I am oblivious. *sigh* I've said before that it's not that God only speaks when I'm sleeping, but that maybe that's one of the rare times that I'm quiet enough to listen.

At church we've been going through the 1o Commandments. This week was remembering the Sabaath. Janell rightly pointed out that often we don't associate this command with "The Commandments". I guess I subconciously wrongly assume that it's simply not as "important" as the others. I don't know. But whatever the case, God told us to take time out of each week.

I've been thinking...and I think that maybe that time is to get a little perspective. Now, if you've been reading this blog for very long, you know that perspective is something huge God's been teaching me about. But it's true. If we never take a break from the little tasks (as in little proportionately to the overall picture), we tend to forget that there IS a bigger purpose.

It seems that when I do take some time, even if it's only like 20 min to watch the sun rise or set or just sit amongst the work of His hands and focus on it being just that, I can't help but remember that I am just a dot in His plan. That the majority of the things that I am stressing about are pointless in the eternal perspective.

Unfortunately, life has been so busy lately that I fear I fail to recognize His fingerprints. I love this song because it reminds me that the Creator's mark is on everything around me. Creation reveals His wonder. I'm including the lyrics because I think it really explains what I'm trying to say...only better.


Did you rise the sun for me?
Or paint a million stars that I might know your majesty?
Is your voice upon the wind?
Is everything I know marked with my makers fingerprints?

Breathe on me
Let me see
Your face
Ever I will seek you
Cause all you are
Is all I want
Always

Draw me close
In your arms
Oh GOD
I wanna be with you
I wanna be with you

Can I feel you in the rain?

Abandon all I am to have you capture me again

Let the earth resound with praise
Can you hear as all creation lives to glorify one name?
JESUS

Breathe on me
Let me see
Your face
Ever I will seek you
Cause all you are
Is all I want
Always

Draw me close
In your arms
Oh GOD
I wanna be with you
I wanna be with you
Oh GOD
I wanna be with you
I wanna be with you

All I wanna do
Is just be with you
I love you LORD
I love you LORD

"Always" by Hillsongs

Selah,
Nanette

Making time (part 2)

"...and everything, you hold in your hand, but still you make time for me. I can't understand."

--Chris Tomlin's "Unfailing Love"


Wow. I can't put it any better than that. The whole "making time" ordeal was hard enough to wrap my head around, but now this?

He makes time for me? He who holds the whole world in his hands makes time for me. I can't understand...

Selah,
Nanette

"home"

Ok, well I know my posting has been sporadic this summer, and I apologize for that. But my lack of entries is not due to a lack of interest in writing. In fact, I have continued to journal my thoughts and observations...I have just forgotten to post them all!

As I read back over the pages I've written, I am reminded of the emotions I was feeling at those times. I'll post one of them below. This was actually written on the plane on my way back to the US on June 7th. I know this entry is old and a little out-dated, I never want to forget that whole thought process...so here it is:


So this is it. I’m on my way home. It’s strange to think that it really is over. My year in England is done. Leaving this morning felt so surreal. I mean, while I knew in my head that I wasn’t coming back, it was like I thought I was just coming home to visit. What is “home” anyway? What constitutes home? At what point does a place/location become home? If home is where the heart is, then I’m not sure where I belong.

I read in Carly’s profile way back that: “Home is a feeling I buried in you.” I’d like to think that’s true. It’s really not any location that makes me feel at home. Hannah and Erin told me that they weren’t nervous about being homesick or even being in another country when they came to visit me. Hannah said: “This is your home…and I’m at home with you.” She probably doesn’t even recall saying it, but it stuck with me.

For me, I don’t think home is a place. I can be in my parent’s house, and depending on who is or isn’t there, it can (or can not) be home. Like Hannah said, I am at home, regardless of my location, when I am with the people I care very deeply about. I felt at home when my family came to visit…even though we were touring Europe. I felt at home backpacking through Europe with Hannah and Erin during Spring Break.

I know I am kind of rambling and saying the same thing in a lot of different ways, but I guess I just wanted to say that if home is where my heart is or if it’s a feeling that I have buried in my loved ones, then I think I can go all over the world and be “at home”. I’ve been blessed with a variety of friends and family that I can burry that feeling in—and I am truly thankful for that.

Selah,
Nanette