5 o'clock news

Kansas--I'm here.

So, I've got a bit of a dilemma. It seems that part of the blog world has become a place of "look at me and my thoughts" implying that in some way or another they are superior to someone else's. In the blog world, we can create a "reality" in which we present ourselves as we want the world to see us. We can carefully construct our thoughts through eloquent words, all the while filtering what we want others to read.

I hate that.

Don't get me wrong. I am not referring to any blogs in particular. In fact, I fear I am guilty of this construction. I started this blog so that I could see what I'm learning. Because I'm a visual learner, I need to hash it out. However, somewhere between the distinction of online appropriate topics and inappropriate ones I fear I got lost.

Here is the problem with that line of thought. In a recent post, Gretchen mentioned a clip by Derek Webb in which he states that the best thing that could happen to us is that our sin would be broadcast on the nightly news for all of the world to see. By exposing those sins, both large and small, which we strive so hard to hide, we would be forced to be real with one another.

Gretchen's post was amazing, and you should definitely all read it. After you do that, check out the text below from Derek Webb. The two of them say it way better than I ever could...

Intro to I repent

"It's a song about repentance. Something that I think we as the American church can stand to learn quite a bit about... A lot yet to repent of. I think that we often believe, if we are honest with ourselves, that the Christian life is about how well we learn to hide our sin. Honestly, I think a lot of us, and I do this all the time, we think that we can measure the growth of our spirituality by how little we are sinning, or maybe at least how little we can convince everyone around us (ourselves included) that we are sinning.

But the Christian life is not about hiding, it's not about living in fear! Gosh that's what we all do though, is it not? We just live in fear all the time that we will be found out. I'm telling you, the best thing that could happen to any of us, I mean the best thing, is that your sin would literally be exposed on the five o'clock news. Your deepest, darkest, most embarrassing sin, the one you work hardest to hide, would be broadcast on the five o'clock news is the best thing that would ever happen to you, best thing that would happen to me. Because I am so weary, so tired, of hiding my sin from people, of deceiving people from who I really am. I am tired of it. I just wish my sins would be exposed. I wish there were huge screens that would just show you the truth about me, all the way down to my core, in order that you would know me for who I really was, so that I could not, I did not even have the option to hide any more, in order that I would have nothing but Jesus to grasp on to, cause that's all I have anyway!

Cause the truth is, your sins have been exposed, as if they were on the five o'clock news. They have been exposed to Jesus, he knows you better than you are even willing to admit to yourself. But he has forgiven you! Take joy in the fact not that your sins are not real, but that they are real, and that your savior is real! I cannot tell you this enough times in hope that any of us, one of us, even me, might believe this. I will never tire of saying this to people. Ill never tire of hearing it myself, because by the time I go to sleep tonight I wont believe it again. I'm gonna be thinking of ways to hide my sin from people, in hopes that they might like me or something.

But that's not what my Christian life is all about, that's not what sanctification is all about, that's not what growth as a believer is all about. It's about coming to grips with who you really are, and being willing to admit that to each other. In order that it might happen in your community where others might come and say "you know I heard you talking about this sin, you know that was bold and brave of you to admit that and its leading me to repentance as well. I wanna tell you something, I want to invite you to where I hide in hopes that I might not hide there anymore. Make it harder for me to go back there, cause the light switch has gone on."

Please, please, begin preaching the Gospel to each other in a way that you might actually believe it and in a way that you might actually come out of hiding and that it might change our communities. I mean, am I the only one that is sick of living in American sub cultural Christianity where we encourage each other to hide encourage each other to put on these faces? That is not what the Christian life is all about. It is no wonder that statistically our church is losing relevance by the day. It's no wonder we are so stagnant. We don't believe the gospel. It has not failed us. We have just failed to believe it!"

So this is the continuation of my stride to be honest...to be real. We cannot and should not attempt to measure the level of our spirituality by the lack of apparent or blaring sins--this only encourages us to strive to hide them all the more.

The only ONE with whom we should be concerned has already seen the broadcast airing our most grotesque sins. We must--I must fight to be who I really am, both in the real world and in my protrayal of myself in the virtual world.

Community seems to be a big theme right now. Can you imagine how much our communities would change if we were all determined to be completely real with each other?

I guess this is just a really long winded way of saying that I'm imperfect. Now, any of you that really know me surely already know this! :) But in order to continue to write honestly, I need to be sure that these entries are not being construed or interpreted in such a way that leads others to believe that I have the answers.

I am imperfect. And I am flawed.

Selah,
Nanette