Missing today for daydreams...

I’ve got 45 min left in my Legal Analysis, Research and Writing class, and I’m not sure I’m going to make it.

Humans, as meticulously created beings, today, seem to have extremely low attention spans. Why is that? The most developed of all creatures—able to communicate in ways which others cannot, but still we get bored with such exchanges.

I chose to come to law school. I am here because I am emphatic about the events in today’s society. I want to do something to change what is going on around me. But at the same time, the courses which are going to give me the tools I need (such as legal writing) do not hold my attention.

So, I guess the question is, although I am crazy interested in the bigger picture of what law is and what it means, I am DISinterested in the sub-issues that will take me to the destination.

As with everything, I think this disinterest speaks volumes.

Do you ever get so excited about what He has for the future that you miss today—a today which contains keys to prepare you for that specific future? How can we be so interested in the future that we are not preparing today? How can we be so in love with a future and still not do the things that will help get us there?

What am I missing NOW that could be key for my future in Him? How can today bore me when it is all preparation for an amazing future?

Why do I spend days daydreaming about what I will be able to do once I have my degree when I could be doing similar things now?

Does anyone else ever feel this way? What do you think we’re missing?

Selah,
Nanette

Mirror, Mirror on the wall..

...who's the fairest of them all?

As my dissertation comes to a close (thankfully), I am constantly reminded of just how important definitions are. International institutions, as well as local ones, are governed by their charters--or the equivalent. Those ruling documents are the result of much debate and compromise. The words have been carefully chosen and have been selected deliberately.

Although the documents may appear simple in text form, the interpretation and application process often reveals the true complexity each word contains. Who knew there were multiple meanings of the word "chicken" [reference to Frigailment]?

Did you know that it is the very definition of the word "genocide" that has permitted the continued cycle of reoccuring genocides around the world? Did you know that if we could adequately come up with a sufficient definition for precisely what the international crime of genocide is, then states would no longer be able to avade their responsbilities under the Convention for the Prevention and the Punishment of the Crime of Genocide?

A definition. One word.

Seems simple enough, eh?

But who defines it? Who gets that power? That's what it all comes down to; the drafters have significantly less power than those interpreting what the drafters "intended". The power held by the "big wigs" of today's international community far outweighs the power of the post-World War II founders of the United Nations.

Scary, huh? Flawed humans will determine who deserves protection. Imperfect people with personal views and political intuition will decide who to afford the protection originally desired by creators of the convention, but because of the ambiguity of the word "genocide", someone completely unrelated to the drafting and negotiation process will decide instead.

Who's the fairest of them all?

While I could talk about this issue and propose my own solutions, they are far less important than what I will say next.

Definitions are important.

Simple enough, huh? But think about it. Who are you? How would you describe yourself? What defines you? Or perhaps the better question is "Who defines you?" Who gets that power?

I would like to suggest that you have been carefully chosen to be where you are, right now. You have been deliberately selected to be you. Sure, today's media and arguably the majority of society would have you believe that this is all chance, that this life you are living is a set of amazing consequences that just happen to bring you to where you are today.

This is wrong.

He picked you. Long before you were born, He had a plan for you.

So, who better to define you and your place in this world than Him? Why do we listen to a society comprised of imprefect individuals? Why do we give them the power to determine something they had no part in creating? Why not recognize that there is no one better to surrender to than the Creator of the Universe? Who's the fairest of them all?



Mirror, Mirror on the wall,
Have I got it?
'Cause Mirror you've always told me who I am
I'm finding it's not easy to be perfect

So sorry you won't define me
Sorry you don't own me
Who are you to tell me
That I'm less than what I should be?
Who are you? Who are you?

I don't need to listen
To the list of things I should do
I won't try, I won't try

Mirror I am seeing a new reflection
I'm looking into the eyes of He who made me
And to Him I have beauty beyond compare
I know He defines me
You don't define me, you don't define me

--"Mirror" by Barlow Girl

Just something to think about.

Selah,

Nanette

Daring, humble, wild, and real

This is what the world wants from our rhetoric, what the man of God longs for in shepherds--daring enough to be different, humble enough to make mistakes, wild enough to be burnt in the fire of love, real enough to make others see how phony we are.

--Brennan Manning

Those are great goals.

daring.

humble.

wild.

real.


The key is to have the perfect balance of the 4.

Selah,
Nanette

The silenced voice

"Throughout History it has been the inaction of those who could have acted, the indifference of those who should have known better, [and] the silence of the voice of justice when it mattered most, that has made it possible for evil to triumph."

--His Late Majesty Haile Selassie of Rwanda

This couldn't be any more true. What will it take to motivate action? What is necessary to eliminate indifference in those who actually do know better? What will be required to release the silenced voice of justice?

Will you take a stand?

Pick a cause--there are plenty.

Raise your voice.

Selah,

Nanette

I don't have to hide...but I don't wanna drive.

I'm sorry.

I haven't posted in AGES, but I guess I haven't had much time to feel very inspirational lately. I survived my first semester of law school (or at least I can hope...there may be an adjustment after I receive my grades...) and met a lot of genuinely amazing people.

I feel like I've been a bad friend since I moved--across the board. No exclusions. Sure, I moved, and I can honestly say I rarely have free time, but at the same time, I love you guys and I want you all to know that.

Resolution 1: show the love.

Break is almost over, and before I know it I'll be back in Kansas doing exactly what I'm should be doing now--writing my disseratation. It's almost half done, and I feel relatively good about my progress, but I'm ready for it to start taking a more solid shape. Luckily I finally "got" my conclusion--or at least realized what it should be--so the writing is going much better now.

Why do I always wait until the last minute to do these things? I started the research back in April, but I just sat on it all summer. Now, here I am, just under 3 weeks before it's due, trying to crank out 100+ pages. Craziness...

Sometimes I wonder if I do stupid stuff (like procrastinate) just to make life more exciting. Don't get me wrong. My life these days is plenty exciting, but I wonder if subconsciously I put things off just so that I know I have things to do later. Random, but a plausible idea.

Again, I'm sorry that I have nothing worth reading to say. I guess I just feel like all of my time and energy is going into my diss. Most days I just feel drained. The other day I went to bed without setting my alarm. It was one of the best feelings I've had in a long time. Downfall: my body realized just how much I had deprived it of sleep over the last 3 months and refused to wake up in a reasonable amount of time. Result? I lost several hours of good "writing time." Bummer.

I wish I could work harder. I wish I was more disciplined. I wish I could survive on 4 hours of sleep every night and NOT get tired. I wish my new computer was here. I wish I had more time to spend with my old friends. I wish I could travel more. I wish I lived closer to lil Audrey. I wish I knew where I was going in life. I wish I could see more of the blueprint.

I've found a new color in my painting. It's weird how that happens.

Looking back over the last year, I think there was one huge lesson I began to learn: it's ok to be real.

I've learned a lot about myself over the last year. It was a good year, but hard year, moving to England and then to law school, but I wouldn't trade it for all of the ease in the world. The hard times made me stronger--or maybe I should say weaker. Because that's what it's all about. How weak will I be? How weak will I allow others to see that I really am? How long must we go on pretending that we are strong, when all we want to do is let down the front and be real?

No longer. At least that's what I learned this last year. No more pretending. No more faking. Just all real and uncut.

To anyone who hides behind a smile

To anyone who holds their pain inside

To anyone who thinks they're not good enough

To anyone who feels unworthy of love

To anyone who ever closed the door

Closed their eyes and locked themselves away

You don't have to hide

You don't have to hide anymore

You don't have to face this on your own

You don't have to hide anymore

So come out, come out, come out wherever you are

To anyone who's tryin' to cover up their scars

To anyone who's ever made a big mistake

We've all been there, so don't be ashamed

Come out, come out and join the rest of us

You've been alone for way too long

And if you feel like no one understands

Come to the One with scars on His hands

'Cause He knows where you are, where you've been

His scars will heal you if you let Him

"Hide" by Joy Williams

We don't have to hide.

And no. It's NOT always pretty. But that's life--or at least that's real life. But that's the thing; it's REAL. And what's the point of pretending? What's the good in hiding behind the masks society tells us we must wear? Nothing. And the sooner we realize that, the sooner we can identify what is ailing us, and throw up our hands in surrender.

Don't get me wrong: the journey does not end with a decision to be real. Quite the contrary actually. The quest BEGINS with this very decision. The path of recovery. The quest to be more like Him. The journey of a reflective life.

But it's only once we can say, "For better or worse, this is how I am. This is me, imperfect and all," that we actually allow Him to take the wheel.

She was driving last Friday on her way to Cincinnati

On a snow white Christmas Eve

Going home to see her Mama and her Daddy with the baby in the backseat

Fifty miles to go and she was running low on faith and gasoline

It been a long hard year

She had a lot on her mind and she didn't pay attention

She was going way to fast

Before she knew it she was spinning on a thin black sheet of glass

She saw both their lives flash before her eyes

She didn't even have time to cry

She was sooo scared

She threw her hands up in the air

Jesus take the wheel

Take it from my hands

Cause I can't do this all on my own

I'm letting go

So give me one more chance

To save me from this road I'm on

Jesus take the wheel

It was still getting colder when she made it to the shoulder

And the car came to a stop

She cried when she saw that baby in the backseat sleeping like a rock

And for the first time in a long time

She bowed her head to pray

She said I'm sorry for the way I've been living my life I know I've got to change

So from now on tonight

Jesus take the wheel

Take it from my hands

Cause I can't do this all my own

I'm letting go

So give me one more chance

To save me from this road I'm on

Oh, Jesus take the wheel

Oh, I'm letting go

So give me one more chance

Save me from this road I'm on

From this road I'm on

Jesus take the wheel

Oh, take it, take it from me

--"Jesus, Take the Wheel" by Carrie Underwood

We don't have to hide, but I don't wanna drive anymore...

Selah,

Nanette